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It’s a good thing to periodically reflect on who I surround myself with. It’s easy to spend time with people that lead you to lay back. Who allow me to be complacent, or justify things in my life. Those relationships are cozy. They let me feel like I’m fine just the way I am, my life is exactly as it should be, and nothing needs to change. The problem is that those relationships aren't the ones that are going to equip me to fulfill my destiny.
Healthy friendships have some friction. That's what facilitates sharpening. It leads to growth and improvement. It reminds me that I can make a bigger difference and be more fulfilled than I am today.
To sharpen something, it has to grind, put off sparks, and scrape off the dullness. We all need people in our lives who can do this for us. Confronting issues in a caring way with the intention to help me is actually one of the most loving things someone can do. Sometimes this happens by a friend pointing out when I’m headed in the wrong direction or only looking at things from one side. It can be drawing my attention to the fact that I might be living a selfish life, purely focused on my comfort. Others should ask me how I’m being intentional about sharing God with the people around me. Maybe it’s a different perspective to give me additional insight. Or addressing an issue when we hurt them or somebody else. It might not always feel good, but it is the only way we can grow.
These shouldn’t just be conversations that might occur if they possibly happen to come up. We should be purposeful and intentional about diving into deliberate dialogue with those who are close to us. In fact, the Bible tells us to “consider how to stimulate one another to love” and to make sure that we are coming together frequently to build the types of relationships where this can occur.
“and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25
I have to be deliberate about asking my friends to help me stay sharp. I need to request the tough feedback, show an openness to the difficult questions, and create a platform for shared learning. I also need to be willing to do the same for them even when it feels awkward or uncomfortable. Along the way, we can celebrate our progress and successes together. There is so much joy when we can be a part of each other’s journeys!! When we build those kinds of friendships, our relationships will be more valuable than we ever would have thought possible.
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