Love

Soooo...I’m constantly having to work on how I love others. By nature I’m a driver - I focus on and end destination and will run over any poor, unsuspecting pedestrian in order to get there. 🙄 It isn’t that I don’t WANT to love people well, it’s just that it takes so much time. ⏱ And in my overly logic laden brain, that time doesn’t equate to getting to the end destination as quickly as possible.

This has led to a lifelong struggle with my desire to be a decent human being, and my need to get results. 🤷🏻‍♀️ But on the other hand, I love love. It’s beautiful, and amazing, and empowering, and is worth it for its own sake.

So I work on love and hope that I’m getting better one tiny bit at a time. The thing that this results oriented girl is having to learn is that love isn’t about an outcome. It isn’t a trade. It’s not a response. If I only love “if or because” I’ve missed the point. That’s when love is super easy. Of course I’m going to love someone who showed me love first - but if I always wait for that, who will start the love? Will I constantly be looking to others to begin?

Love isn’t about me getting and then giving, it’s about giving when it hurts. When it’s hard, and takes effort and pain. When I’m giving it even though nothing within me wants to. When I dive into someone else’s mess to help them get out of it. When I serve for no reason, and sacrifice with no return. When loving is one of the most difficult decisions I’ve ever had to make.

You want to know how I know that’s real love? Because that’s how God loves me.

#thesassysaint